She Had The Ass Of An Angel...Or A Devil?

Spike, Miss T, and I headed out to a party this rainy evening. Good time. We were all underdressed, it being a Halloween shindig and all, but hey. Tippet drinks like he was born with a bottle in hand. The big story of the night though was this one girl, plenty good looking enough and dressed like a dirty, dirrrrrrrrrty school gal. If I could’ve borrowed a ruler from the Canadian that always brings one to class, even if it’s microbiology and we’ll never, ever fucking use a ruler in that lecture, I bet it would’ve been about 30 centimeters. In other words, short.

Behold! The asscheeks!

So yea, we didn’t get any, but we saw some booty. Back to business, as usual.

The most overrated comic of our generation is Dane Cook. Don’t get me wrong, he funny, but not nearly as hilarious as say, Denis Leary or Henry Rollins. Hell, Hank ain’t even a comic! Fact is, Dane pokes fun at the shit that all kids our age do. Boy, drinking and puking, that’s hilarious!

“I relate to that. You know what I’m saying!?”

However, I will give him credit for possibly being the smartest comic. It’s pretty ingenious to build your career on something every frat boy would rally behind.

Something else that grinds my gears is audiences ruining acoustic performances. First FOB, and I paid for that fucking DVD, I don’t want some uninvited girl backup singers that are off key. I downloaded a Motion City Soundtrack acoustic set and sure enough, everyone just has to sing along. The fuck? Worst case is Limbeck. I downloaded a whole album, and 11 out of 12 tracks, people clap. Fucking clapping…every fucking song. WTF mate?! The only song they don’t clap on is ruined at the end when some lady yells out either hot damn or god damn. Fucking retards. Just because it has a country sound doesn’t mean you have to lower your intelligence to that of Randy Hickey.

Earl: "Don't eat those cookies, they're poisoned!"


Randy: "How poisoned?"

Something being played acoustic is rare and meant to be appreciated, not interrupted.

Another thing equally head-scratching is this comment made on a live journal for my University.

“Pedestrians and drivers should work together to make sure everyone is safe. Drivers: look around to see what is going on near the road. Especially at night- it's deer season. Pedestrians: look before crossing. When you're riding a bicycle you're supposed to get off and walk with it as you cross a busy street anyway.”

You and I both know what’s wrong with that. Who in the hell rides a bike to WALK it across a street? Hmm, I think I’ll slow down to make myself an even easier target to demolish. No sir, I ride, TO ride. All you suckers without a bike, have a nice walk!

Couple days prior, Miss T reminded me that Spanish is the big up and coming language, how it’ll be spoken by half the country quite soon. I know I’ve been told this before by a hot Spanish teacher with even hotter daughters, but where’s the proof? What’s timetable now? So, I bring you the Top 4 greatest strides America has had towards incorporating our second language.

1) ESPN de Portes, obviously.

2) The SAP button, although I doubt anyone has ever used it.

3) HBO Español, which is detrimental when attempting to watch Sphere at 3AM.

4) Pringles having added a Spanish label.

My shirt smells like Tag and beer. Hey, that ought to attract any woman!

- Wyrm.