No. 3 Paul Allen
- Net worth $22.5 billion (up)
Source: Software, Microsoft, investments
Self-made
Age: 52
Marital status: single
Hometown: Seattle, Wash.
Education: Washington State University, dropout
- Wyrm
Friday, September 30, 2005
The Saddest Mofo On Earth
What a poor, poor bastard...
No. 3 Paul Allen
- Wyrm
No. 3 Paul Allen
Source: Software, Microsoft, investments
Self-made
Age: 52
Marital status: single
Hometown: Seattle, Wash.
Education: Washington State University, dropout
- Wyrm
Thursday, September 29, 2005
"What Is Inconsiderate?" Alex...
There's two things that piss me off in this world: five cheese pasta sauce that for some reason contains huge ass chunks of tomato (with no label warning mind you) and girlfriends.
Why the latter? I'll tell you why. These she-devils are the most inconsiderate creatures on Earth. This is, of course, putting aside the fact that they giggle. What could possibly be gained by giggling? And why does every girlfriend I know, other than mine or Spike's, do it?! At the mere touch by a man, these girls cackle and chirp as echoed by no other animal. Not every word your boy toy says is hilarious; you're not dating Mitch Hedberg. Besides, he's dead. So stop fucking laughing simply because you are sharing a bed with a penis-owner.
Where was I? Oh, right, writing about girlfriends who come into someone else's house and treat it like it were there own. Sure, leave your hair dryer in the bathroom. Hey, help yourself to some sammiches. Better yet, take the ONLY FUCKING APPLE LEFT IN THE FRIDGE, say "I've never tried a honeycrisp before," AND EAT IT IN FRONT OF THE PERSON WHO WAS PLANNING ON HAVING IT WITH LUNCH THE NEXT DAY.
Hell.
- Wyrm
*Editor's Note: Upon further review, she bought her own damn apples. Okay okay, but she's still sucking up our utilities. And probably having sex in the shower*
Why the latter? I'll tell you why. These she-devils are the most inconsiderate creatures on Earth. This is, of course, putting aside the fact that they giggle. What could possibly be gained by giggling? And why does every girlfriend I know, other than mine or Spike's, do it?! At the mere touch by a man, these girls cackle and chirp as echoed by no other animal. Not every word your boy toy says is hilarious; you're not dating Mitch Hedberg. Besides, he's dead. So stop fucking laughing simply because you are sharing a bed with a penis-owner.
Where was I? Oh, right, writing about girlfriends who come into someone else's house and treat it like it were there own. Sure, leave your hair dryer in the bathroom. Hey, help yourself to some sammiches. Better yet, take the ONLY FUCKING APPLE LEFT IN THE FRIDGE, say "I've never tried a honeycrisp before," AND EAT IT IN FRONT OF THE PERSON WHO WAS PLANNING ON HAVING IT WITH LUNCH THE NEXT DAY.
Hell.
- Wyrm
*Editor's Note: Upon further review, she bought her own damn apples. Okay okay, but she's still sucking up our utilities. And probably having sex in the shower*
Whatchamasluts
If you’re an intermittent sports fan, you are not welcome here. Of course, you probably don’t realize that you are one. You think you’re devoted to a team, a whole university even. You likely tell everyone how big of a fan you are, yet you fool only yourself. Don’t talk about your beloved athletes only after a big win. Don’t ignore them when they hit a rough stretch. If you’re a fan, you should know who they battled that weekend or who had the walk-off game winner.
“Who’s Michael Hart? Huh?”
Stay at home, you bandwagon-jumping-fuck. And for all you Yankee fans, boy, I’m sure it was a real test of your mettle when you decided you’d root for one of the winningest franchises in sports history. Mmm, rough.
I should get back to some chauvinism. I don’t know why I do it, but I always buy into girls acting innocent. I shouldn’t, but I do it unconsciously, hoping that people, females included, are good at heart. I believe them when they say “I haven’t slept around.” I invest in the statement that “this is only the third time I’ve ever drank.” You can’t be untainted in this day and age, especially if you’ve got a vag. It doesn’t fucking happen; women give in all too easily. You can keep living that lie, since I can’t stop believing it. That is, until I catch you tongue-wrestling with some dude and mixing drinks.
By the way, clock towers suck. Is that chiming really helping anyone keep track of time? There’s one down the street somewheres that chimes EVERY 15 MINUTES. How would you tell if it’s quarter to or quarter after!? Obviously, excessive. And I doubt you’ll ever hear anyone say this:
“Shh, listen! One, two, three…holy shee-ite, it’s 3 in the afternoon already?! Boy, if it weren’t for that clock tower, I don’t know what I’d do. It’s not like there are clocks on every bank in the county and I highly doubt anyone, myself included, would own a watch. Thank you, clock tower, eternal keeper of time!”
Unless it gets struck by lightning. Which I don’t think would bother Doctor Brown one bit.
“I’m with you on this one, Wyrm!”
Wow, two Back To The Future references in recent posts. Maybe it’s the power of love, but not as covered by The Early November.
It’s been raining a lot lately and I’ve come up with yet another mass generalization for a particular sex (no, I got more for you ladies later). Men should not use umbrellas. Not the man’s man type anyway. Either you brought rain-gear, or you get soaked, plain and simple. The only time you should ever have a pair of balls complimented by an umbrella is when you’re walking with some sweet honey and want to keep her dry. Besides, you’ll get her plenty wet later with your act of kindness, you know what I’m saying? Yes, that’s a zinger.
No girl will read this the right way, but I don’t know how a girl can ever be called “too skinny.” I’m not being overly shallow here; there are plenty of gals who are over their ideal weight that I still find attractive. In my days, I’ve seen two, a mere two, girls who I thought were sickly thin and unappealing as a result. By no means am I advocating starvation, but if that’s the girl’s poundage, then that’s what it is, simple as that. Course, this is coming from a twig that’d probably prefer to bed another twig.
In the past seven days, I’ve had two of the most depressing experiences of my life involving Alexis Bledel and a Whatchamacallit. How can two joy-inducing things in Wyrm’s life suddenly go so bad? Well let’s see here…I had a very distinct dream about Ms. Bledel in which we were stupid for each other (oh, those eyes!). Hell, I even told off some douche bag who was hitting on her, Wyrm vs. Fat Mexican-style. Then, I woke up. Yea yea, sad sappy story, isn’t that how all good dreams end, with bitter reality? At least I didn’t wake up looking for her like I did when I dreamnt I inherited hundreds of Star Wars action figures. As for the candy bar, it was insanely bad. The taste of it had changed since I last ate it, which this link denotes as being “new brand graphics“. Or, it had expired. Whichever, it now tastes like Worst89centinvestmentknowntoman.
In the wake of Mr. Happy’s conversation, here’s how I talk to women-folk:
Future Avengement Dancer's away message: making a mix for dance- girls feel free to stop by if you'd like some input!!!
Wyrm: i'd give the girls some input...oh ho ho! sorry, couldn't resist
Coincidence that both girls dance?
- Wyrm
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Introducing...the Wen3000!
What follows is a Sunday night conversation I had with "hardcore dancing goth girl," a conversation which left me quite perturbed and unable to focus readily on the work I needed to get done. Frustrated beyond belief, I sent the conversation through the Wen3000, a female translation program who also happens to be a close friend of mine. Despite the length, I post in full the conversation with the Wen3000 comments in bold. Readers should find it both educational as well as humorous. If neither is the case, and the length is a problem, well, in the words of the Mooninites, fuck it.
hardcore dancing goth girl: what
mr happy: you just seem frustrated right now and i want to know why
Wen3000: notice that you show concern for her, yet....
hardcore dancing goth girl: interesting
Wen3000: she doesnt seem to care.
hardcore dancing goth girl: just that i cant do what i want to do
mr happy: and what's that
hardcore dancing goth girl: just what i want to do.
Wen3000: i will again point out that she didnt answer you. total disregard for your feelings and your question. i could rip her fucking throat out.
mr happy: i assume it involves me
hardcore dancing goth girl: well yeah
mr happy: i don't like being this consistent source of frustration for you
hardcore dancing goth girl: why?
Wen3000: DUH! that should be obvious. *no one* likes that. god.
hardcore dancing goth girl: or what would you plan on doing about it
Wen3000: this statement here... this is the meat of the conversation. she asked you a question, but its NOT a question. shes giving you a command. shes telling you in her own way "do something about my frustration." yet she wont tell you *why* shes frustrated. very, very selfish of her.
mr happy: i have no idea what to do about it
Wen3000: of course you dont. she wont even tell you *why* shes frustrated with you. dont fault yourself for that.
mr happy: i'm not sure there's anything i can do
hardcore dancing goth girl: well, than i don't think much change will occur
mr happy: i never sleep well at bruco’s. i have to type up my notes for WPA and compile the results of the student questionnaire taken friday.
mr happy: i don't want to be this consistent source of frustration for you
mr happy: i really really don't
hardcore dancing goth girl: ...ok
hardcore dancing goth girl: i was just under the assumption that you did all of this "work" before the trip.
hardcore dancing goth girl: seeing as though that's what you had said
Wen3000: shes calling you a liar. shes also being somewhat possessive. she probably assumed that you're talking to someone else at the same time as she and didnt like that. that was probably the purpose of the quotes around "work".
mr happy: i did a lot of it before i left
hardcore dancing goth girl: and i thought "a lot" was all
Wen3000: her idiocy never ceases to amaze. a lot: most of. all: everything. total. entire. if you ever give the girl a gift, please make it a dictionary.
mr happy: well, the problem is that there's always more to do
hardcore dancing goth girl: yes, with you there is mr happy
mr happy: all right
mr happy: fine
hardcore dancing goth girl: yes?
hardcore dancing goth girl: what was the meaning in that monosyllablistic word?
Wen3000: make it a thesaurus, too. trying to act like she *knows* you, which pisses *me* off. over the *years* that ive taken to get to know you, ive learned that your "monosyllablistic" words dont always mean there is a problem. she automatically assumed there was, so i think she was *trying* to piss you off. maybe that was her own childish way of getting you to talk to her rather than do your work. even negative attention *is* attention.
mr happy: what do you want me to do? just say fuck all to this work in front of me?
Wen3000: and it worked.
hardcore dancing goth girl: yes!
Wen3000: god. i still cant believe she said that. its like a fucking train wreck.
mr happy: why
hardcore dancing goth girl: b/c, that's what i would just like you to do once in a great while and just go along with some of your id instincts
Wen3000: not only is she sexually pretentious, but shes regular pretentious too!
mr happy: not tonight
mr happy: if this work doesn't get done
mr happy: if i don't get a decent amount of sleep tonight
mr happy: then i am fucked for tomorrow
mr happy: i drank way too fucking much thursday night
mr happy: i went with my "id instincts"
mr happy: and i had to teach hungover
mr happy: i don't want to do that again
hardcore dancing goth girl: not the same idea
mr happy: explain to me how it isn't
hardcore dancing goth girl: drinking shouldn't be part of that conscience part
hardcore dancing goth girl: or un
hardcore dancing goth girl: maybe "sub"
Wen3000: god shes an idiot.
mr happy: just because i might want to get physically fucked tonight doesn't mean i want to get figuratively fucked tomorrow by not getting any work done
hardcore dancing goth girl: what?
Wen3000: see what i mean?
mr happy: nevermind
mr happy: it made better sense in my mind
hardcore dancing goth girl: alright...
mr happy: i'm extremely tired, so the words don't always come out right
hardcore dancing goth girl: i completely understand
mr happy: whatever it is that you want from me, i cannot give it,
hardcore dancing goth girl: is that a general statement from you, or just an assumption on something?
Wen3000: "or just an assumption on something." an assumption on what, exactly?
mr happy: more of a general statement
mr happy: i mean, look at how our relationship's gone
hardcore dancing goth girl: so an assumption as well...
Wen3000: an assumption that you actually have a relationship? wtf is she talking about?
mr happy: yes
hardcore dancing goth girl: and how do you perceive it has "gone?"
mr happy: not real well
mr happy: as i stated earlier, i seem to be just a consistent form of frustration for you
Wen3000: nobody wants to stick around when they're a constant source of frustration for another person. not unless they really *want* to get under someone's skin...
hardcore dancing goth girl: not really as much though as you want to think.
Wen3000: another very telling statement from the idiot. mr happy... you frustrate me. you know this. but you probably think you frustrate me more than any other person on the face of this planet and, were you anyone else in the entire world, you probably would. however, because you are mr happy, i *choose* to tolerate my frustrations with you and you dont frustrate me nearly as much as you probably should. i think shes doing the same thing here, or something very similar. you validate something in her. you validate her need to be wanted (because obviously you want her or else you wouldnt keep coming back) and she wants that validation to continue. you could start treating her like a dog today and she'd probably still stick around because she needs to be wanted that badly. as long as she thinks you want her, she'll keep you around. she will swallow her frustrations and deal with it. you wouldnt *be* frustrating her much because its a trade-off for her. you're either there, frustrating the piss out of her or you're not there and not frustrating her at all, and she'd much rather have you there than not because you want her and she needs your want. i dont know quite how to say it so that might not have made much sense, but i tried, yo.
mr happy: how
mr happy: tonight, you're frustrated that i won't simply just say "fuck this work" and fuck you instead
hardcore dancing goth girl: just, i think you focus too much on that time, it's really only when i think i have a good idea
hardcore dancing goth girl: sort of
Wen3000: she made absolutely no sense at all. so shes saying that you only focus on your work when she has a good idea? you go out of your way to ignore her? mr happy! when did you become such a tyrant?
mr happy: sort of?
hardcore dancing goth girl: well, i wouldn't say it like that
mr happy: how would you say it then
hardcore dancing goth girl: have your way with me
hardcore dancing goth girl: what were you going to say
hardcore dancing goth girl: ?
Wen3000: wtf is she talking about? have your way with me? is she expecting you to verbally assault her? i guess this goes back to my theory of negative attention is still attention. if you berated her mercilessly, you're still giving her attention, even if it is negative.
mr happy: i can't
mr happy: not tonight
hardcore dancing goth girl: when ever is there a good night?
Wen3000: okay. her blatant abuse of the english language frightens me. she should have said "when is there ever a good night?" or "when is a good night?" i find that, as this conversation progresses and she gets more and more anxious, her desire to sound lofty and intelligent increases. and the more desperate she gets the more tragic her usage becomes.
mr happy: what about when we saw each other last
mr happy: was that not a good night?
hardcore dancing goth girl: that was then, i want a now?
mr happy: i don't know when that will be
hardcore dancing goth girl: i see
hardcore dancing goth girl: that's when those unexpected (but good) surprises come at a halt.
Wen3000: like here. of course its unexpected. its a fucking surprise. if it was expected, it'd be a plan, now wouldnt it? and things come TO a halt! TO! not "at". good fucking god, shes dumb. it should also be noted here that shes now attempting to hold the pussy over your head. do it her way or you dont get any more. but dont hold your breath, dude. she'd put out even if you stopped letting her dictate the terms. she needs you to want her and if "wanting her" means everything has to go *your* way now, she'll do it. she wouldnt like it worth a fuck, but she'd still do it.
mr happy: what do you mean?
hardcore dancing goth girl: like if i really did go tonight to see you, nothing would have worked.
mr happy: not tonight, no
hardcore dancing goth girl: see
mr happy: what
hardcore dancing goth girl: i'm saying, i would have drove all that way, and would have called up to you or what have you and it would have been a pointless matter from there
Wen3000: yes, because you're supposed to drop everything and worship her. worship the pussy... worship it mr happy!
mr happy: yes, it would've been
mr happy: and judging from that statement, it doesn't seem as though you have much confidence about trying again another night
mr happy: if you are thinking about it, though, i can honestly tell you that almost no weekday during any week will work
hardcore dancing goth girl: yeah, i know
hardcore dancing goth girl: which previously also makes things talked about obsolete
Wen3000: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! im sorry mr happy, but i'll be 80 years old and still laughing about this. that was so godawful terrible.
hardcore dancing goth girl: alright, well mr happy, i guess i should sign out now
Wen3000: yeah, i guess you better. you just made a *COMPLETE* ass of yourself. silly bitch. i also wonder if she knows "alright" isnt a word.
mr happy: ok
hardcore dancing goth girl: so..........we'll talk later then?
mr happy: yes
hardcore dancing goth girl: alright, goodnight.
Wen3000: obviously not.
mr happy: goodnight.
Wen3000: it is obvious that she keeps you around (believe me, SHE is keeping YOU around) to provide her with the "want". however, if you were to give her what she wants and be her boyfriend, she would not want you anymore . why? because as her boyfriend its your *JOB* to want her. she needs a constant supply of someone wanting her. though i know you dont want to be her boyfriend, if you did, she would discard you pretty quickly because she would get bored with you. you're no longer the exciting new person with whom she can have the occasional wild fling. as boyfriend mr happy you become old hat. the standard. she can no longer go out and fuck whomever she wants with a good conscience. but she wants a boyfriend (not necessarily you but youre probably the closest thing she *has* to a boyfriend so you'll do for now) so she knows without a doubt that *someone* wants her at *all* times.
and shes a bloomin idiot.
hardcore dancing goth girl: what
mr happy: you just seem frustrated right now and i want to know why
Wen3000: notice that you show concern for her, yet....
hardcore dancing goth girl: interesting
Wen3000: she doesnt seem to care.
hardcore dancing goth girl: just that i cant do what i want to do
mr happy: and what's that
hardcore dancing goth girl: just what i want to do.
Wen3000: i will again point out that she didnt answer you. total disregard for your feelings and your question. i could rip her fucking throat out.
mr happy: i assume it involves me
hardcore dancing goth girl: well yeah
mr happy: i don't like being this consistent source of frustration for you
hardcore dancing goth girl: why?
Wen3000: DUH! that should be obvious. *no one* likes that. god.
hardcore dancing goth girl: or what would you plan on doing about it
Wen3000: this statement here... this is the meat of the conversation. she asked you a question, but its NOT a question. shes giving you a command. shes telling you in her own way "do something about my frustration." yet she wont tell you *why* shes frustrated. very, very selfish of her.
mr happy: i have no idea what to do about it
Wen3000: of course you dont. she wont even tell you *why* shes frustrated with you. dont fault yourself for that.
mr happy: i'm not sure there's anything i can do
hardcore dancing goth girl: well, than i don't think much change will occur
mr happy: i never sleep well at bruco’s. i have to type up my notes for WPA and compile the results of the student questionnaire taken friday.
mr happy: i don't want to be this consistent source of frustration for you
mr happy: i really really don't
hardcore dancing goth girl: ...ok
hardcore dancing goth girl: i was just under the assumption that you did all of this "work" before the trip.
hardcore dancing goth girl: seeing as though that's what you had said
Wen3000: shes calling you a liar. shes also being somewhat possessive. she probably assumed that you're talking to someone else at the same time as she and didnt like that. that was probably the purpose of the quotes around "work".
mr happy: i did a lot of it before i left
hardcore dancing goth girl: and i thought "a lot" was all
Wen3000: her idiocy never ceases to amaze. a lot: most of. all: everything. total. entire. if you ever give the girl a gift, please make it a dictionary.
mr happy: well, the problem is that there's always more to do
hardcore dancing goth girl: yes, with you there is mr happy
mr happy: all right
mr happy: fine
hardcore dancing goth girl: yes?
hardcore dancing goth girl: what was the meaning in that monosyllablistic word?
Wen3000: make it a thesaurus, too. trying to act like she *knows* you, which pisses *me* off. over the *years* that ive taken to get to know you, ive learned that your "monosyllablistic" words dont always mean there is a problem. she automatically assumed there was, so i think she was *trying* to piss you off. maybe that was her own childish way of getting you to talk to her rather than do your work. even negative attention *is* attention.
mr happy: what do you want me to do? just say fuck all to this work in front of me?
Wen3000: and it worked.
hardcore dancing goth girl: yes!
Wen3000: god. i still cant believe she said that. its like a fucking train wreck.
mr happy: why
hardcore dancing goth girl: b/c, that's what i would just like you to do once in a great while and just go along with some of your id instincts
Wen3000: not only is she sexually pretentious, but shes regular pretentious too!
mr happy: not tonight
mr happy: if this work doesn't get done
mr happy: if i don't get a decent amount of sleep tonight
mr happy: then i am fucked for tomorrow
mr happy: i drank way too fucking much thursday night
mr happy: i went with my "id instincts"
mr happy: and i had to teach hungover
mr happy: i don't want to do that again
hardcore dancing goth girl: not the same idea
mr happy: explain to me how it isn't
hardcore dancing goth girl: drinking shouldn't be part of that conscience part
hardcore dancing goth girl: or un
hardcore dancing goth girl: maybe "sub"
Wen3000: god shes an idiot.
mr happy: just because i might want to get physically fucked tonight doesn't mean i want to get figuratively fucked tomorrow by not getting any work done
hardcore dancing goth girl: what?
Wen3000: see what i mean?
mr happy: nevermind
mr happy: it made better sense in my mind
hardcore dancing goth girl: alright...
mr happy: i'm extremely tired, so the words don't always come out right
hardcore dancing goth girl: i completely understand
mr happy: whatever it is that you want from me, i cannot give it,
hardcore dancing goth girl: is that a general statement from you, or just an assumption on something?
Wen3000: "or just an assumption on something." an assumption on what, exactly?
mr happy: more of a general statement
mr happy: i mean, look at how our relationship's gone
hardcore dancing goth girl: so an assumption as well...
Wen3000: an assumption that you actually have a relationship? wtf is she talking about?
mr happy: yes
hardcore dancing goth girl: and how do you perceive it has "gone?"
mr happy: not real well
mr happy: as i stated earlier, i seem to be just a consistent form of frustration for you
Wen3000: nobody wants to stick around when they're a constant source of frustration for another person. not unless they really *want* to get under someone's skin...
hardcore dancing goth girl: not really as much though as you want to think.
Wen3000: another very telling statement from the idiot. mr happy... you frustrate me. you know this. but you probably think you frustrate me more than any other person on the face of this planet and, were you anyone else in the entire world, you probably would. however, because you are mr happy, i *choose* to tolerate my frustrations with you and you dont frustrate me nearly as much as you probably should. i think shes doing the same thing here, or something very similar. you validate something in her. you validate her need to be wanted (because obviously you want her or else you wouldnt keep coming back) and she wants that validation to continue. you could start treating her like a dog today and she'd probably still stick around because she needs to be wanted that badly. as long as she thinks you want her, she'll keep you around. she will swallow her frustrations and deal with it. you wouldnt *be* frustrating her much because its a trade-off for her. you're either there, frustrating the piss out of her or you're not there and not frustrating her at all, and she'd much rather have you there than not because you want her and she needs your want. i dont know quite how to say it so that might not have made much sense, but i tried, yo.
mr happy: how
mr happy: tonight, you're frustrated that i won't simply just say "fuck this work" and fuck you instead
hardcore dancing goth girl: just, i think you focus too much on that time, it's really only when i think i have a good idea
hardcore dancing goth girl: sort of
Wen3000: she made absolutely no sense at all. so shes saying that you only focus on your work when she has a good idea? you go out of your way to ignore her? mr happy! when did you become such a tyrant?
mr happy: sort of?
hardcore dancing goth girl: well, i wouldn't say it like that
mr happy: how would you say it then
hardcore dancing goth girl: have your way with me
hardcore dancing goth girl: what were you going to say
hardcore dancing goth girl: ?
Wen3000: wtf is she talking about? have your way with me? is she expecting you to verbally assault her? i guess this goes back to my theory of negative attention is still attention. if you berated her mercilessly, you're still giving her attention, even if it is negative.
mr happy: i can't
mr happy: not tonight
hardcore dancing goth girl: when ever is there a good night?
Wen3000: okay. her blatant abuse of the english language frightens me. she should have said "when is there ever a good night?" or "when is a good night?" i find that, as this conversation progresses and she gets more and more anxious, her desire to sound lofty and intelligent increases. and the more desperate she gets the more tragic her usage becomes.
mr happy: what about when we saw each other last
mr happy: was that not a good night?
hardcore dancing goth girl: that was then, i want a now?
mr happy: i don't know when that will be
hardcore dancing goth girl: i see
hardcore dancing goth girl: that's when those unexpected (but good) surprises come at a halt.
Wen3000: like here. of course its unexpected. its a fucking surprise. if it was expected, it'd be a plan, now wouldnt it? and things come TO a halt! TO! not "at". good fucking god, shes dumb. it should also be noted here that shes now attempting to hold the pussy over your head. do it her way or you dont get any more. but dont hold your breath, dude. she'd put out even if you stopped letting her dictate the terms. she needs you to want her and if "wanting her" means everything has to go *your* way now, she'll do it. she wouldnt like it worth a fuck, but she'd still do it.
mr happy: what do you mean?
hardcore dancing goth girl: like if i really did go tonight to see you, nothing would have worked.
mr happy: not tonight, no
hardcore dancing goth girl: see
mr happy: what
hardcore dancing goth girl: i'm saying, i would have drove all that way, and would have called up to you or what have you and it would have been a pointless matter from there
Wen3000: yes, because you're supposed to drop everything and worship her. worship the pussy... worship it mr happy!
mr happy: yes, it would've been
mr happy: and judging from that statement, it doesn't seem as though you have much confidence about trying again another night
mr happy: if you are thinking about it, though, i can honestly tell you that almost no weekday during any week will work
hardcore dancing goth girl: yeah, i know
hardcore dancing goth girl: which previously also makes things talked about obsolete
Wen3000: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! im sorry mr happy, but i'll be 80 years old and still laughing about this. that was so godawful terrible.
hardcore dancing goth girl: alright, well mr happy, i guess i should sign out now
Wen3000: yeah, i guess you better. you just made a *COMPLETE* ass of yourself. silly bitch. i also wonder if she knows "alright" isnt a word.
mr happy: ok
hardcore dancing goth girl: so..........we'll talk later then?
mr happy: yes
hardcore dancing goth girl: alright, goodnight.
Wen3000: obviously not.
mr happy: goodnight.
Wen3000: it is obvious that she keeps you around (believe me, SHE is keeping YOU around) to provide her with the "want". however, if you were to give her what she wants and be her boyfriend, she would not want you anymore . why? because as her boyfriend its your *JOB* to want her. she needs a constant supply of someone wanting her. though i know you dont want to be her boyfriend, if you did, she would discard you pretty quickly because she would get bored with you. you're no longer the exciting new person with whom she can have the occasional wild fling. as boyfriend mr happy you become old hat. the standard. she can no longer go out and fuck whomever she wants with a good conscience. but she wants a boyfriend (not necessarily you but youre probably the closest thing she *has* to a boyfriend so you'll do for now) so she knows without a doubt that *someone* wants her at *all* times.
and shes a bloomin idiot.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
The end of heartache
No, this isn't killswitch engage. No this isn't Dan bitchin about being sad. Its more like me typing this shit out so I don't talk to anyone about it. So, its like this. I was spending alot of nights with Satan and basically all of a sudden she just doesn't call me anymore. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I think that I have the right to be pissed off when I'm the one waking up in the middle of the night to feed HER baby or put HER baby's little pacifier thing back in so she stops crying and goes back to sleep. I didn't do it because I thought that it was the right thing to do or because I care more than anything about the baby or anything like that. I was simply being considerate. I say considerate because I take into account the fact that I couldn't be there every night, so on those nights she had to wake up every time the baby cried. So, I thought that if she could just sleep all night it would be good for her. I mean, doesn't that seem like something praiseworthy? I mean, at least a thank you or maybe a hummer...Well, none of that shit happened. NO thank you. Certainly no hummer, not that thats what I was going for, but who would I be to say no? Exactly. The underlying point here is just that. A lack of appreciation for everything. I'm no angel, I'm not even nice most of the time. But I am kind, and I am thoughtful. It is pretty much in my nature to help someone that I believe needs help, unless I hate them, and especially if I care about them. Satan will always have some place in my heart, thats just the way that it is. I've said countless times that "This is the last time this shit happens." Blah blah blah...but I mean, I called Satan tonight and she sent me to her voicemail like 3 times. All I wanted to know was if my belt was at her house so that I knew it wasn't lost. So, as far as I know, my belt is still lost.
I've lost the urge to write...just let it be known, Mr. Happy, Wizz, and Spike the tinman wasn't much of a man on this night and he sure seemed like he had a heart. you know why? cuz fuck 'em, thats why
*Tin
I've lost the urge to write...just let it be known, Mr. Happy, Wizz, and Spike the tinman wasn't much of a man on this night and he sure seemed like he had a heart. you know why? cuz fuck 'em, thats why
*Tin
Friday, September 23, 2005
Love Jumpin'
It's a verifiable bevy of posts. A whole buffet, even. Here's what I'm bringing to the table...more potatoes.
Recently, there has been much pointless debate about enacting a dress code at my particular druggy college. I'm not entirely for one, but I think I want one now so those goth bitches can finally kill themselves conform. I decided to participate in the debate and the following is an excerpt of what I wrote:
The cost is an issue, but it can be overstated. If the dress code is applied, Goodwill is a cheap, viable option. If you’re dropping this kind of money on your education already, a few more bucks won’t kill you. If you’re strapped for cash, cut back on the alcohol consumption or some other expensive habit.
If you think I’m being anything but straight-forward with that statement, punch your throat. Here are a couple responses, poor grammar and all...
Pierced Girl (who claims she can’t afford retainers, but has the money to put a barbell through her ear): all right, fair enough, but please do NOT insinuate that people who are strapped for cash have an alcohol problem or some other “expensive habt,” a bit judgemental, don’t you think?
Mr. Dull (yes, that’s really his name, I don’t add to their stupidity via text editing): You know what? people shouldn’t say or make people think that you have an alcohol problem or other issues.
I’m really hoping this illicts a hearty, “are you shitting me!?” from the man with no heart. What in the flying fuck are these people thinking? At what point did I accuse anyone of being alcoholic? If they want to jump to a conclusion about their personal life, that’s fine by me, but why would I say all pharmacy students are drug addicts? Then some other douche commented again how expensive new clothing is and how he hardly has money to "live", (my guess is that living includes cable, internets, and condom costs these days), totally ignoring my mention of Goodwill. These are people who in a matter of three years or less will be out dispensing lethal drugs to you, the public. Pharmacists are supposedly some of the more respected members of the community, but I can't imagine why they would be when they think like this.
Old dude: "My hip hurts."
Stupid druggist: "I'll give you this anti-inflammatory, but only if you stop with the meth."
Enough with school, although I must say that my microbiology teacher lovessssssss phagocytosis. Because he gives gay tests. That was lame as hell...Going along the same vein as Señor Spike, I'm going to talk about girls...a lot. That's what a chauvanistic blog is for, no?
For starters, there are far, far too many girls nowadays that smoke. When did the transition occur that girls thought this was attractive? Granted, they could be practicing their blowjob technique, but I think they are using a model that is not really to scale.
Another thing, on every girl's 18th birthday, why doesn't Gillette send one of these in the mail? We all got Mach 3's, right? And I think we all know what needs shaving on the womenfolk...their sideburns. Along with the cigs, I've seen it not once (random), not twice (trend), but thrice (enforced by God Himself) with what normally would be attractive girls.
Awhile back, I heard some brief radio segment where the local DJ was trying to find the oldest virgin (when The 40 Year-Old Virgin was in theaters). No, I didn't call in, but the host did make a valid point about anyone who went to college for four years: how do you not have sex? Hell, even I had to turn down vag at one point. Yes, once. But still, the fact remains, girls are sluts...
...sluts who don't know what love is. You know who I'm talking about. That girl who jumps from one guy to the next without a second's thought. The first girl I ever made out with had had sex with six different guys by age 16 and she told me she had loved each and every one of them. I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, even though she doesn't deserve it, and say she started fucking at age 14. She's averaging at least 2 new people she loves on an annual basis. I've met a handful of people in my entire life that I would say I love. There's another gal I know who had met "the one," and only a couple months later is with some new fling and instantly "loves" him. How can anyone have so much fucking love to give to so many guys? This excludes gonorrhea being classified as love by the way. The love that exists between two vaginas on the other hand...
Anyone wanna explain to me why this isn't the number one selling album of all fucking time?
So, how was the post?
"It stinks!"
- Wyrm
Open Up Your Eyes...
Well, I would like to consider myself a thinker. Not a revolutionary type of thinker, nothing along the lines of Einstein or Tesla. I just spend alot of time thinking about stupid things. Things that make sense, but more often than not, things that don't make much sense. However, today I did happen to think about something that made me chuckle, and get a sick feeling all at the same time. Girls, now you might take offense, but since there aren't any of you that read this fookin' blog, I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I was sitting here, actually having a conversation on the phone and it came to me that every girl I know has fucked up. "Fucked Up" meaning that they have either cheated on a boyfriend in some form OR just slept with someone for the sake of sleeping of someone. My god, is it that hard to just not do stupid shit? I have very little faith in the faithfulness of girls/women. Someone asked me why this is, and I explained to them my reasoning. The expected response: "Well isn't it kind of unfair to judge all by the mistakes of a few?" and that was the response I received. So to prove my point, I was forced to call them out on the fact that they themselve had participated in one of these little slips...Oh Burn!
I guess the reason for this post is just to pass the time by, but it makes me feel good to know that I, Spike, haven't managed to make a fuck up like that. And until I do, I can hold that above a few heads. That makes me smile.
Oh Yeah, I got tickets to go see this lad...And remember, don't get pissy when you called out for doing something. After all, you did it. Not the person letting it be known.
- Spike
So I was sitting here, actually having a conversation on the phone and it came to me that every girl I know has fucked up. "Fucked Up" meaning that they have either cheated on a boyfriend in some form OR just slept with someone for the sake of sleeping of someone. My god, is it that hard to just not do stupid shit? I have very little faith in the faithfulness of girls/women. Someone asked me why this is, and I explained to them my reasoning. The expected response: "Well isn't it kind of unfair to judge all by the mistakes of a few?" and that was the response I received. So to prove my point, I was forced to call them out on the fact that they themselve had participated in one of these little slips...Oh Burn!
I guess the reason for this post is just to pass the time by, but it makes me feel good to know that I, Spike, haven't managed to make a fuck up like that. And until I do, I can hold that above a few heads. That makes me smile.
Oh Yeah, I got tickets to go see this lad...And remember, don't get pissy when you called out for doing something. After all, you did it. Not the person letting it be known.
- Spike
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Shame On A Nigga Who Tried To Run Game On A Nigga
Here I sit...instead of bar-going and whiskey drinking. Maybe I'm still a little timid after last weeks fiasco. God knows I try to kiss everyone when I'm drunk...
There haven't been any breakthroughs in the story, by the way. The word is I did in fact try to kiss her, but I still haven't had that confirmed by her. At any rate, I should be drunk and at the bar right now, but I'm not. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I have a book to read for class tomorrow. The most likely reason is that I don't have any fucking money with me though. I haven't spoke with Satan since Monday. The Lumina is still running like a dog with three legs. And my head feels like there is a midget inside trying to beat his way out with a fucking sledge hammer. I guess I'm just being a typical blogger pussy right now and bitching about how terrible my fucking life is, so I'll end that shit right now.
A girl from class added me to messenger last night. The teacher sends out mass e-mails to everyone in all of her classes, thats how she got my address. I was tempted to add her, but I didn't want to seem like some stalker/desperate douche who has nothing better to do than read everyone's e-mail address. The fact of the matter is, I did just that. The good part about all of this is that she is the only attractive girl in my class, and she's from Fremont. There's a little fucking spider running across my wall, I attempted to send the fucker to the Angel of Death, but he was quicker than I on this day, so he lives. The point here is that she added me to messenger, and I'm left wondering why. There aren't any good looking guys in the class either, so that could be...or she could just want to have contact with someone from class outside of class. I don't really know, and I really don't care. I'm overanalyzing as it is, so I'll stop. I thought about inviting her down here, but fuck's sake. I don't know. She has an ex-boyfriend and she seems to be stuck on him. Fuck that shit. Eh, this was retarded and I've got reading to do...followed by Garden State. If it sucks, I'll fucking sock your nose, Wizzerm. G's up, hoes down, while you mutha fuckas bounce ta dis.
*Tin
There haven't been any breakthroughs in the story, by the way. The word is I did in fact try to kiss her, but I still haven't had that confirmed by her. At any rate, I should be drunk and at the bar right now, but I'm not. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I have a book to read for class tomorrow. The most likely reason is that I don't have any fucking money with me though. I haven't spoke with Satan since Monday. The Lumina is still running like a dog with three legs. And my head feels like there is a midget inside trying to beat his way out with a fucking sledge hammer. I guess I'm just being a typical blogger pussy right now and bitching about how terrible my fucking life is, so I'll end that shit right now.
A girl from class added me to messenger last night. The teacher sends out mass e-mails to everyone in all of her classes, thats how she got my address. I was tempted to add her, but I didn't want to seem like some stalker/desperate douche who has nothing better to do than read everyone's e-mail address. The fact of the matter is, I did just that. The good part about all of this is that she is the only attractive girl in my class, and she's from Fremont. There's a little fucking spider running across my wall, I attempted to send the fucker to the Angel of Death, but he was quicker than I on this day, so he lives. The point here is that she added me to messenger, and I'm left wondering why. There aren't any good looking guys in the class either, so that could be...or she could just want to have contact with someone from class outside of class. I don't really know, and I really don't care. I'm overanalyzing as it is, so I'll stop. I thought about inviting her down here, but fuck's sake. I don't know. She has an ex-boyfriend and she seems to be stuck on him. Fuck that shit. Eh, this was retarded and I've got reading to do...followed by Garden State. If it sucks, I'll fucking sock your nose, Wizzerm. G's up, hoes down, while you mutha fuckas bounce ta dis.
*Tin
Even Angels Wanna Wear My Red (and Black and White) Shoes
With week five of the semester winding down, I find it interesting that my Adidas footwear still get a substantial amount of attention while walking around campus. Eye contact is almost impossible with any lovely lady lately, simply because she’s captivated by my shoes. This is a new experience for me, and I’d like to capitalize on it. However, given my lack of social skills when it comes to those females I find physically attractive, such capitalization has yet to materialize.
“I see you noticing my shoes. Do you like how they look? Yeah, well, they’d look better at the foot of your bed. You know, along with my socks, pants…and your clothes, too, of course…
God I suck.”
Of course, more than the attractive ones peruse my shoes. In fact, there’s a new breed of female around these parts. While Wyrm has his sorostitutes, I have what I like to call “skunks.” This term comes from a particular hairstyle, incorporating platinum blonde and jet black hair coloring; the platinum is on top while jet black’s beneath.
“Don’t put me under no platinum bullshit!”
Exactly, Jet, exactly. I find this to be an incredibly disgusting new look for females today. Granted, most of those sporting this “style” already smoke, have a piercing or three and are generally dirty whores with shitty taste in music. If this is untrue, ladies, feel free to contact me...after you've either dyed your hair back to its original color or let that skunkiness grow all the way out, quit smoking and let all those piercings close up nice and tight. Because, as we all know, change the vowel and "skunk" becomes "skank."
“I see you noticing my shoes. Do you like how they look? Yeah, well, they’d look better at the foot of your bed. You know, along with my socks, pants…and your clothes, too, of course…
God I suck.”
Of course, more than the attractive ones peruse my shoes. In fact, there’s a new breed of female around these parts. While Wyrm has his sorostitutes, I have what I like to call “skunks.” This term comes from a particular hairstyle, incorporating platinum blonde and jet black hair coloring; the platinum is on top while jet black’s beneath.
“Don’t put me under no platinum bullshit!”
Exactly, Jet, exactly. I find this to be an incredibly disgusting new look for females today. Granted, most of those sporting this “style” already smoke, have a piercing or three and are generally dirty whores with shitty taste in music. If this is untrue, ladies, feel free to contact me...after you've either dyed your hair back to its original color or let that skunkiness grow all the way out, quit smoking and let all those piercings close up nice and tight. Because, as we all know, change the vowel and "skunk" becomes "skank."
Monday, September 19, 2005
Who Needs Keanu?
Wyrm says:
i am a mother fucking genius
Wyrm says:
i outsmarted powerpoint, AGAIN
Mr. Happy says:
haha
Wyrm says:
something liberating about beating a machine
Mr. Happy says:
nice
Wyrm says:
matrix-style
We write better than the Wachowski brothers, I must say.
- Wyrm
i am a mother fucking genius
Wyrm says:
i outsmarted powerpoint, AGAIN
Mr. Happy says:
haha
Wyrm says:
something liberating about beating a machine
Mr. Happy says:
nice
Wyrm says:
matrix-style
We write better than the Wachowski brothers, I must say.
- Wyrm
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Just Call Him William Pelio Jr.
This...this absolute FUCK!
Well, let me allow another condemned individual tell you the fate of that Alexis-banging douche bag –
"He's dead."
Yessir, and I think you know why he's headed to an early grave. I called dibs on her while in utero. Isn't it funny how everyone always accuses the person who has the least influence in the situation? She doesn't HAVE to go out with him. But, since he's the one supplying the wang, he's the bad guy. Besides, I don't think I could ever call her a slut, even when she plays a prostitute. I could justify her lifestyle, but only if she really really meant it, with sugar on top, when we had sex. Sugar on top, with cupcakes and pudding.
For the record, I do have a big one brewing. A big post, that is. In the meantime, I uploaded a song for the man of tin. It's mostly for the first seven words which echo sentiments of his last post. The song itself harkens back to a day when Splender ruled the air waves. To download, just click on the free button towards the bottom, wait a few ticks, then right-click on the link and save target as. What I'm doing is illegal as hell, but to get caught, people would actually have to read this blog. So, it's a win-win situation. You guys get a song, we get more viewers. Besides, for how crappy of a tune it is, I'm perty sure the judicial system would let me off.
Attorney Joe Don: "Go on, take a walk, huh?"
Wyrm: "What?"
Attorney Joe Don: "Walk! Come on, move! Go on!"
Lastly, thanks to Color. He fixed the toilet, his hands have the scent of dookie, and we didn't have to call Dusty Gozongas. Hmm, on second thought, where's my chainsaw?
Yes!
- Wyrm
Post Script: That yellow lab shat outside my window, again. Cept this time, I found out about it when I brought my dinner upstairs. Fan-fuckin-tastic.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Boo-Hoo Poor You....
"So just fucks sports?"
That was the argument thrown at me tonight. With that one question, I became more infuriated than I ever have with a girl. Not even my ex (whom I have had many, and I mean MANY bad memories with) has ever pissed me off so much. Well maybe she has, but it sure as shit doesn't feel like it right now. Well here is the thing, she claims to have been so hellbent on going to college ever since she can remember, having not even ever considered NOT going to college, BUT 3 weeks into the first semester that she SHOULD be going to school...she isn't. Why? Well let me tell you why...
1. Insists with living with a friend
A) Problem here:They aren't those kind of "Friends." "Friend" and she aren't going into the same field of work after school. Nor do they have the same amount of money to play around with. Those 2 reasons right there should be enough.
2. Refuses to help self
A) Problem(S) here: Well being 18, moved out, and without a driver's license sounds like a bitchin' good time to me, how about you? The problem with this problem, it's pretty damn hard getting to a job when you don't have a car and aren't within walking/biking distance of your place of employment. Has yet to show me she has the initiative to get enrolled into college and get everything together that she needs to collect MEAP money and get things rolling. Refuses to except the fact that she doesn't "know"everything
Sidetrack...
If I were to hear those two words, "I Know", right now I can't imagine what I would do. I've heard that same bullshit 2 word liner since January. "I Know", Well I know sure as shit that you don't know jack shit. Apparently there is no reason at all to swallow your pride and ask for help, because HEY, You Know. What? Whats that you say? You've went to college for 3 years and have lived on your own before? You own a car and pay insurance? You had a job in school and have continued to have one at least in the summertime while going to school?
Well...FUCK YOU, I already know what to do.
Attention!....Attention!...
I would just like to let you know that HAD my girlfriend had a job during high school, although we haven't checked with officials, would have been the only person to have been a multi-sport athlete and held a job! Well H-O-L-Y Shit, who know that I, Spike, could've landed a pro-athlete that could support my new lifestyle of pursuing happiness by doing nothing.
So before you throw a pity-party, have yourself a little reality check and take a look around. I'm sure there were people that you thought were lame asses in school and stuff, but if even just one of them has gotten their ass into school and is making some progress with their life, they are lightyears ahead of you. Son of a bitch, I was in a good mood today until tonight.
Wyrm...never, and I mean NEVER, get yourself into this bullshit.
For some Humor:
-Spike.
That was the argument thrown at me tonight. With that one question, I became more infuriated than I ever have with a girl. Not even my ex (whom I have had many, and I mean MANY bad memories with) has ever pissed me off so much. Well maybe she has, but it sure as shit doesn't feel like it right now. Well here is the thing, she claims to have been so hellbent on going to college ever since she can remember, having not even ever considered NOT going to college, BUT 3 weeks into the first semester that she SHOULD be going to school...she isn't. Why? Well let me tell you why...
1. Insists with living with a friend
A) Problem here:They aren't those kind of "Friends." "Friend" and she aren't going into the same field of work after school. Nor do they have the same amount of money to play around with. Those 2 reasons right there should be enough.
2. Refuses to help self
A) Problem(S) here: Well being 18, moved out, and without a driver's license sounds like a bitchin' good time to me, how about you? The problem with this problem, it's pretty damn hard getting to a job when you don't have a car and aren't within walking/biking distance of your place of employment. Has yet to show me she has the initiative to get enrolled into college and get everything together that she needs to collect MEAP money and get things rolling. Refuses to except the fact that she doesn't "know"everything
Sidetrack...
If I were to hear those two words, "I Know", right now I can't imagine what I would do. I've heard that same bullshit 2 word liner since January. "I Know", Well I know sure as shit that you don't know jack shit. Apparently there is no reason at all to swallow your pride and ask for help, because HEY, You Know. What? Whats that you say? You've went to college for 3 years and have lived on your own before? You own a car and pay insurance? You had a job in school and have continued to have one at least in the summertime while going to school?
Well...FUCK YOU, I already know what to do.
Attention!....Attention!...
I would just like to let you know that HAD my girlfriend had a job during high school, although we haven't checked with officials, would have been the only person to have been a multi-sport athlete and held a job! Well H-O-L-Y Shit, who know that I, Spike, could've landed a pro-athlete that could support my new lifestyle of pursuing happiness by doing nothing.
So before you throw a pity-party, have yourself a little reality check and take a look around. I'm sure there were people that you thought were lame asses in school and stuff, but if even just one of them has gotten their ass into school and is making some progress with their life, they are lightyears ahead of you. Son of a bitch, I was in a good mood today until tonight.
Wyrm...never, and I mean NEVER, get yourself into this bullshit.
For some Humor:
-Spike.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Tin, You Drunk Bitch...
Well I think that we've all had our times of being out of control. Some of us haven't and good for you, well for those of you who choose not drink for whatever reasons, but for those just too young and unable to get their filthy paws on booze, go piss up a rope.
And for those who will choose to criticize the fine individuals who contribute to this blog, I have this to say (Courtesy The Big Lebowski):
I Didn't Watch My Buddies Die Face Down In The Mud, Just To Have My Musicial Tastes Insulted By You. You're Out Of Your Element.
And for those who will choose to criticize the fine individuals who contribute to this blog, I have this to say (Courtesy The Big Lebowski):
I Didn't Watch My Buddies Die Face Down In The Mud, Just To Have My Musicial Tastes Insulted By You. You're Out Of Your Element.
This is an interesting little fucking story...
As previously stated, the Lumina isn't in the best shape, so my ex-girlfriend came down and picked me up from my apartment to take me to the bank since my car doesn't even have gas in it. So, I figure staying with her would be the least that I could do. BUT THEN she turns into the psycho hose beast bitch that we all know and love, so I say fuck it, I'm going home. Well, by home I must have meant Aaron Olson's and then the bar. At any rate, my bottle of McMasters? GONZO. I didn't finish it alone, but I did far more than I should've. I also had 3 maybe 4 jagerbombs, and 2 bottles of some smirnoff crap that tasted kinda like sparkling water. So, I was FUCKED. Well, to the bar we went, mind you I bought a pack of cigarettes at 8:30 and they were gone before I left the bar at 2. So, at the bar I'm just chillin out maxin relaxin all cool, wait, no I was sitting at a table and then the spirit moved me to dance. So, dance I did. Fuck's sake...bad idea. I danced with Laisure's girlfriend, Fat Face (Richie's girlfriend), and Anndrea whom none of you would know, and I was at it for a good while. Hard to believe, I know. Well, after a few minutes Richie is out on the floor and then He and Fat Face were gone. Went home because he was mad that I was dancing with her, taking our history into consideration I can't say that I blamed him, but he didn't say anything to me. All he had to do was say he didn't want that to happen and I certainly wouldn't have. If I weren't that drunk I GUARANTEE I wouldn't have even been in her presence. Whenever she is around I sit and fucking lay into her, its fun to me. So, we leave the bar at 2 and Nic wants to go to Burger King. About 15 seconds after I got into the car to come home I felt sick as a bitch. While waiting at the window at BK to get the food I decided that it was time to puke all over Kasey's car. I just rode the rest of the way home hanging out the window puking and getting rained on. We got to the apartment and Nic harrassed me for a minute and then I grabbed the garbage can and went to bed. I only puked in it for about 2 seconds before I went to bed and that was the last of my puking. So, at 10 something this morning I woke up and thought that I was late for class, then I realized that I didn't have class until 12:20. Good news. Until I realized that my fucking back pack was in Kasey's trunk. Still, all was not lost, I had nearly 2 hours before class started. Plenty of time to shower and drive to Hesperia and be back in time for class. So, I showered woke Nic up and got ready. Good news. Until I realized that my fucking keys were in my backpack as well. FUUUUUUUUUUCK. Oh yeah, this class has 8 assignments all semester, one was due today. Called the teacher, no answer. Left him a voicemail, guess we'll see what happens. Supposed to get my stitches out today, too. Obviously that happened. There is good news though! I found out why Richie left the bar, which actually turned out to be awful news. Apparently I tried kissing Fat Face and then she pushed me away, and then I tried again. I have no recollection of this. I remember dancing but thats it. That was my argument when I first heard this. I said, "If I tried kissing her, doesn't it seem like she would've pushed me away or something? Why would she have let me?" Because at first all I heard was that Richie said that I was kissing on her. Well, I don't know what the fuck happened. I feel like shit either way and I guess its going to be a minute before I drink again. Richie told Kyle that he isn't mad, because never before had he seen me that drunk, and I was fucking out of control, but when he was by me today he wouldn't even look at me. Can't say I blame the guy much if that really happened. But I can't understand why I would do that, because I really can't stand the bitch. She's nice I guess, but she did me dirty, and I only let that happen from one person. Anyway, that was my day...thats right Spike, it could always be worse, just ask me. And I realize that I should be happy that I'm alive and all that, and I am...but this was quite a shitty day. BE GOOD, KIDS.
*Tin
As previously stated, the Lumina isn't in the best shape, so my ex-girlfriend came down and picked me up from my apartment to take me to the bank since my car doesn't even have gas in it. So, I figure staying with her would be the least that I could do. BUT THEN she turns into the psycho hose beast bitch that we all know and love, so I say fuck it, I'm going home. Well, by home I must have meant Aaron Olson's and then the bar. At any rate, my bottle of McMasters? GONZO. I didn't finish it alone, but I did far more than I should've. I also had 3 maybe 4 jagerbombs, and 2 bottles of some smirnoff crap that tasted kinda like sparkling water. So, I was FUCKED. Well, to the bar we went, mind you I bought a pack of cigarettes at 8:30 and they were gone before I left the bar at 2. So, at the bar I'm just chillin out maxin relaxin all cool, wait, no I was sitting at a table and then the spirit moved me to dance. So, dance I did. Fuck's sake...bad idea. I danced with Laisure's girlfriend, Fat Face (Richie's girlfriend), and Anndrea whom none of you would know, and I was at it for a good while. Hard to believe, I know. Well, after a few minutes Richie is out on the floor and then He and Fat Face were gone. Went home because he was mad that I was dancing with her, taking our history into consideration I can't say that I blamed him, but he didn't say anything to me. All he had to do was say he didn't want that to happen and I certainly wouldn't have. If I weren't that drunk I GUARANTEE I wouldn't have even been in her presence. Whenever she is around I sit and fucking lay into her, its fun to me. So, we leave the bar at 2 and Nic wants to go to Burger King. About 15 seconds after I got into the car to come home I felt sick as a bitch. While waiting at the window at BK to get the food I decided that it was time to puke all over Kasey's car. I just rode the rest of the way home hanging out the window puking and getting rained on. We got to the apartment and Nic harrassed me for a minute and then I grabbed the garbage can and went to bed. I only puked in it for about 2 seconds before I went to bed and that was the last of my puking. So, at 10 something this morning I woke up and thought that I was late for class, then I realized that I didn't have class until 12:20. Good news. Until I realized that my fucking back pack was in Kasey's trunk. Still, all was not lost, I had nearly 2 hours before class started. Plenty of time to shower and drive to Hesperia and be back in time for class. So, I showered woke Nic up and got ready. Good news. Until I realized that my fucking keys were in my backpack as well. FUUUUUUUUUUCK. Oh yeah, this class has 8 assignments all semester, one was due today. Called the teacher, no answer. Left him a voicemail, guess we'll see what happens. Supposed to get my stitches out today, too. Obviously that happened. There is good news though! I found out why Richie left the bar, which actually turned out to be awful news. Apparently I tried kissing Fat Face and then she pushed me away, and then I tried again. I have no recollection of this. I remember dancing but thats it. That was my argument when I first heard this. I said, "If I tried kissing her, doesn't it seem like she would've pushed me away or something? Why would she have let me?" Because at first all I heard was that Richie said that I was kissing on her. Well, I don't know what the fuck happened. I feel like shit either way and I guess its going to be a minute before I drink again. Richie told Kyle that he isn't mad, because never before had he seen me that drunk, and I was fucking out of control, but when he was by me today he wouldn't even look at me. Can't say I blame the guy much if that really happened. But I can't understand why I would do that, because I really can't stand the bitch. She's nice I guess, but she did me dirty, and I only let that happen from one person. Anyway, that was my day...thats right Spike, it could always be worse, just ask me. And I realize that I should be happy that I'm alive and all that, and I am...but this was quite a shitty day. BE GOOD, KIDS.
*Tin
SEE YA...
I would just like to extend a "high five" to my man, Mr. Kenny Chesney, for giving or getting the axe to or from the worst mistake of his life. I never understood why he settled for her, because if you have ever been to one of his shows, its quite obvious he could bed any lady in the crowd. Again, I applaud you Mr Chesney.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
It Could Be Worse...
Well, I read alot of online journals and blogs and other things along those lines, and for the most part it is a common theme: Oh My Life Sucks! Well Folks, I've got news for you... It could ALWAYS be worse. Now alot of people that know me, especially TinMan, would agree that those words will come out of my mouth alot more than it will out of someone elses. I have my reasons, but I'm not sharing. So for those of you thinking there is NO WAY anyone is feeling worse than you, I'll list one of the few things that I see people complain about the most...and how it could be worse.
You Got Dumped.
HOW IT COULD BE WORSE:
A) You could get dumped only to find out your "other" has left you with a lifelong memory of them. Throw in any non-curable STD here, because God knows there was that one time you did it in a rush or just because...thinking they were ok, or really cool, or you were just a dumbfuck.
B) You could throw yourself into another relationship, and don't bullshit yourself here, if you are one of these people then you are one of these people. Not just any relationship, but with a real douchebag, and then get dumped by him.
C) You could find out that your "other" is going around telling everyone about how they got laid by you the first night you met and how you were really drunk and make you out be a real slut.
D) You Could Be Dan Diegel.
Just remember folks, it could always be worse.
It saddens me to read that the Lumina isn't running like the champ I know her to be. You would have to ride in this car to get a real appreciation for it. The only way I can describe it is by saying it made a 45 mile trip in under 30 minutes. This was on no ordinary road, i believe there are something like 15 curves on it, and a few stop signs, all in a 55 MPH zone. I will expect nothing short of a Bundy style service should the lumina kick it. Well its late, so late in fact that I just didn't answer the phone, when I knew who it was, because I knew that I could just play it off as if I were sleeping :) that makes me happy.
- Spike
You Got Dumped.
HOW IT COULD BE WORSE:
A) You could get dumped only to find out your "other" has left you with a lifelong memory of them. Throw in any non-curable STD here, because God knows there was that one time you did it in a rush or just because...thinking they were ok, or really cool, or you were just a dumbfuck.
B) You could throw yourself into another relationship, and don't bullshit yourself here, if you are one of these people then you are one of these people. Not just any relationship, but with a real douchebag, and then get dumped by him.
C) You could find out that your "other" is going around telling everyone about how they got laid by you the first night you met and how you were really drunk and make you out be a real slut.
D) You Could Be Dan Diegel.
Just remember folks, it could always be worse.
It saddens me to read that the Lumina isn't running like the champ I know her to be. You would have to ride in this car to get a real appreciation for it. The only way I can describe it is by saying it made a 45 mile trip in under 30 minutes. This was on no ordinary road, i believe there are something like 15 curves on it, and a few stop signs, all in a 55 MPH zone. I will expect nothing short of a Bundy style service should the lumina kick it. Well its late, so late in fact that I just didn't answer the phone, when I knew who it was, because I knew that I could just play it off as if I were sleeping :) that makes me happy.
- Spike
Sweet Meats
Yet again, I had another adventure while eating. It happens every time I consume meat and I do it in the most awkward fashion. I wasn't raised on beef, pork, and chicken. In fact, I'm quite content with my pasta and potatoes. But every so often, I take in mass quantities of dead animal. The sad part is, I never know how to eat it.
This was one weakass post, but hey, we got readers who comment, gotta stay in the now. Welcome home Tinman, tis where you belong.
- Wyrm
My first memory of such an event was at Stevo's, trying to cut apart some pork and mimicking how my friend ate. A couple years later, I spent three days with Grandpa Wyrm where meat was every meal. It took me roughly an hour to eat one steak, all the while fending off his bastard Jack Russell terrier. I'm sure the dog knew how to chew thick cow. And now, I'm relegated to watching how other people at the table eat meat. Even if it's something as simple as bratwursts, I try to make sure I'm not fucking up my approach. If the meat has bones, I'm screwed. I defile the meat product with utensils, have a few bites here and there, end up leaving more than half of the meat on the bone, and finish the meal with a prayer that my digestive system can process the non-veggies. It's not that I don't like meat; I'm just a retard when it comes to eating it.
"Likes this!"
This was one weakass post, but hey, we got readers who comment, gotta stay in the now. Welcome home Tinman, tis where you belong.
- Wyrm
You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism at one point. Not in 'Nam of course.
Its like this....
The Lumina is only running on 5 cylinders, this is not a good thing. We aren't sure what the problem is right now, but we're working on it. And, James, you said that you call your car Georgia, because she is always on your mind. I'm going to call my car California, because I would like to see her fall into the ocean.
-Tin
The Lumina is only running on 5 cylinders, this is not a good thing. We aren't sure what the problem is right now, but we're working on it. And, James, you said that you call your car Georgia, because she is always on your mind. I'm going to call my car California, because I would like to see her fall into the ocean.
-Tin
This Place Is A Blood Bath
And it won't be taken alive...
Well, I would like to take this oppurtunity to welcome myself to this little thingy right meeeehaaaaaa. I am The Tin Man, and this is war. The point here is, Martin Luther King, Jr. was quite a smart mother fucker. I'm in the process of typing some critical evaluation of his "Letter From Birmingham Jail" and he was just...somethin. I don't know. Six stitches above the eye, what a treat. It didn't really hurt when they numbed the area, but it did a tad when the needle was going through and all that. Now those little bastards itch. I haven't showered yet tonight either. Fuck's sake. My contributions to this fine establishment will be little more than babble. The other thing that I am supposed to be typing is calling for now, this will be touched upon again sooner.
War
And hey, it could always be worse, right Spike?
Well, I would like to take this oppurtunity to welcome myself to this little thingy right meeeehaaaaaa. I am The Tin Man, and this is war. The point here is, Martin Luther King, Jr. was quite a smart mother fucker. I'm in the process of typing some critical evaluation of his "Letter From Birmingham Jail" and he was just...somethin. I don't know. Six stitches above the eye, what a treat. It didn't really hurt when they numbed the area, but it did a tad when the needle was going through and all that. Now those little bastards itch. I haven't showered yet tonight either. Fuck's sake. My contributions to this fine establishment will be little more than babble. The other thing that I am supposed to be typing is calling for now, this will be touched upon again sooner.
War
And hey, it could always be worse, right Spike?
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Which Superhero Will It Be?
Night Thrasher?
Or Nightcrawler?
Those are the names that are up for bid on my bike. Unless you can think of something better to describe a bitchin' black Schwinn Cruiser 5...
- Wyrm
Or Nightcrawler?
Those are the names that are up for bid on my bike. Unless you can think of something better to describe a bitchin' black Schwinn Cruiser 5...
- Wyrm
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Humor...For Those Who Get It
So I get a call yesterday, from Tinman, and he says to me "there's been another porkchop siting" and I smile. He then told me his words were going to be "How do you like your porkchops?" Porkchop refers to the name I gave an ex after seeing her after gaining approximately 1/4 of her body weight. 1/4 for fucks sake. So for those of you who know the joke...
Porkchop....Fucked Her!
I'll make a real post one of these days when something sparks a fire inside me, but until then life is too funny to get pissed at, and I'll just continue to drop these little few liners in here.
- Spike
Porkchop....Fucked Her!
I'll make a real post one of these days when something sparks a fire inside me, but until then life is too funny to get pissed at, and I'll just continue to drop these little few liners in here.
- Spike
Monday, September 12, 2005
I'm Your Density
It hath begun…again. I started studying today. I’m trying to get back up to hardcore status, but it’s damned tough. I look at the clock and only 45 minutes has passed, when in the past I didn’t notice the time until it was dark. I gotta build up my writing stamina even. Hell, my hand hasn’t cramped up this much since I slept with Hilary Swank. Oh ho ho!
In the meantime, ponder these few titbits. That word was in poor taste, no? But boobbits doesn’t have the same ring.
1) There is no such thing as fate. Tinman and I have discussed this previously on numerous occasions, but I wanted to mention one scenario in particular. That whole “love” thing. Granted, we all know it’s overrated, only good if you’re getting sex, and so on. But movies like “Serendipity” (which I probably mentioned before) give people a false reality. Fuck, it’s a movie; of course it’s a lie. Unless it’s about blonde-haired dudes getting eaten by bears, then it’s funny real.
You and I both know persons, be they men or women, who drink the Fate-Flavored Kool-Aid and ask for seconds. They feel their story of how they met their beloved is some amazing coincidence directed by God and pheromones. Meeting your spouse at class in college? Not all that weird. Hooking up because you dropped your e-mail address in a
Look, it’s not bad to be in a relationship (unless the girl is getting fat). But don’t try and make up some cockamamie (yes, I spell-checked that) story about how if it weren’t for the only party you were at your senior year of high school, and if you hadn’t drank a bottle of scotch before you arrived, and if you weren’t wearing that sweet cologne that made you smell like a perfume factory, and if your equally sloshed future wife hadn’t arrived twenty minutes late because she had to blow Alan in his truck, you two never would’ve dry-humped on your best friend’s parents’ bed and woke up the next morning with that nauseating feeling that this was the start to something special. Shit like that only happens if you have a sweet Delorean.
2) Feel bad for the Hurrican Katrina victims (or not, those raping/killing/bitching douche bags), but feel worse for the “placebo group” in drug studies. Sure, they could be avoiding shitty side effects like, well, death, but if you are terminally ill with cancer, are you that scared of death anymore? I’d at least like to have more of a chance at trying out some potentially life-saving drug than be randomized into taking encapsulated bullshit.
Leprosized-Patient: “Doctor, my skin lesions aren’t healing with this new treatment.”
: “Why of course not! We injected you with leftovers from our hummingbird feeder!”
Congrats on being the placebo bitch. If I had to go out like that, I’d at least like to have a cream soda infusion. 1000 cc’s, stat!
Also, House is back on tomorrow on Fox at 9. Watch it. Live it. Make Dr. Cuddy straight again. Or seduce Dr. Cameron.
- Wyrm
Sunday, September 11, 2005
We're Chauvanists, Who Just Can't Spell
Dibs. Dibbity-dib-dib-dibssssssssss. On what? On who...
Granted, Tinman was one of the first to see her. Mr. Happy is only a couple years younger than her. And, I don't know how to pronounce her name.
Still, back off Eric and know your role.
Be sure to check out her resume. It's pretty sweet. She was in some shitty Crow movie with Tara 'Frankenboobies' Reid, as well as "Are You Afraid Of The Dark?" And lastly, as Eve in "Adam & Eve." She was worth the rib. Too bad she wasn't in this autobiographical film. Yea, I saw that in 8th grade. Thanks Stevo and DirectTV for poisoning my young mind.
- Wyrm
Granted, Tinman was one of the first to see her. Mr. Happy is only a couple years younger than her. And, I don't know how to pronounce her name.
Still, back off Eric and know your role.
Be sure to check out her resume. It's pretty sweet. She was in some shitty Crow movie with Tara 'Frankenboobies' Reid, as well as "Are You Afraid Of The Dark?" And lastly, as Eve in "Adam & Eve." She was worth the rib. Too bad she wasn't in this autobiographical film. Yea, I saw that in 8th grade. Thanks Stevo and DirectTV for poisoning my young mind.
- Wyrm
Man, Fuck Telemarketers
This is nothing new, but why in the hell would someone call on a Sunday, while the lions are playing, and expect a nice reply? Granted, the lady had a nice voice and she was doing it for a good cause (injured cops or something), but when I say "No thanks," there's no way you're convincing me otherwise.
Unless you call me "honey."
- Wyrm
Unless you call me "honey."
- Wyrm
Friday, September 02, 2005
Oh the Humor....
For those who read, realize I do believe in The Late J.C. and sometimes its probably hard to believe it, but I do. I also find alot of humor in the legacy and whatnot of his being. I read this little Q&A on Ebay regarding a giant drumset just now....
Q:
Finally...a real drum set! Jesus H. Christ!
A:
WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT "THE MAN" WOULD PLAY, BUT THIS COULD PROBALY COVER MOST OF HIS GIGS. COULD YOU IMANGE THE DRUM SOLO!!
Well, not that I've pissed myself from laughing, I'm off.
- Spike
Q:
Finally...a real drum set! Jesus H. Christ!
A:
WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT "THE MAN" WOULD PLAY, BUT THIS COULD PROBALY COVER MOST OF HIS GIGS. COULD YOU IMANGE THE DRUM SOLO!!
Well, not that I've pissed myself from laughing, I'm off.
- Spike
Hey... I Know You!
Maybe this is a problem that only I, Spike, have to deal with. NO, not E.D. or anything like that, but something else that does bother me. I was walking out of class this morning, and as I rounded the corner I see a kid that graduated from the fine HHS this past year. Surely he didn't recognize me, as I am now wearing my glasses and a hat. Anyways, although I could walk to this kid and be like "Hey (insert name here), so you are in the program too? blah blah blah"... I don't. Instead I blow past him and continue on my way up to the computers. One would assume that if if they were to see someone that they knew from school, and didn't hate or anything like that, that they would at least say Hi. But I was on a mission, and my themesong was "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas.
Wait, I am listening to a conversation between a student and a construction management instructor and he just said he has a "Fonzy Jacket" for when he rides his motorcycle. My kind of guy... The Fonz.
For those who care...
There is a song, not just any song, that would cause chaos and disorder in the bellstand like none other this summer...Sugar We're Going Down.
This was a pretty pointless post, but I am on break right now and have nothing to do.
And to reader who decided to comment, NO... not you Spamass, but the real person, enjoy the posts.
-Spike
Wait, I am listening to a conversation between a student and a construction management instructor and he just said he has a "Fonzy Jacket" for when he rides his motorcycle. My kind of guy... The Fonz.
For those who care...
There is a song, not just any song, that would cause chaos and disorder in the bellstand like none other this summer...Sugar We're Going Down.
This was a pretty pointless post, but I am on break right now and have nothing to do.
And to reader who decided to comment, NO... not you Spamass, but the real person, enjoy the posts.
-Spike
In Case You Missed It...
We had our very first comment! Yah! Course, it was a spammer...but hey, progress is progress, even if it's from porn promoters. Wha? The hell is glyconutrition?
- Wyrm
- Wyrm
Thursday, September 01, 2005
This Aggression Will Not Stand...
Well Folks, I come off a good summer and I have this bit of information to offer you: Sneak back into your childhood memories and hop on that bike again. As I was telling Wyrm this evening as we ate our Dairy Queen ice cream, for 16 years of my life I looked forward to getting my drivers license pretty much more than anything, having had it for 4 years now, I couldn't care less. Since turning the age where we are found to be trustworthy behind the wheel of a 3/4 ton automobile that will exceed 100 mph, I have spent more money on my vehicle, insurance, and gas than I had in the previous 16 years combined. So the retreat to Mackinac Island was somewhat refreshing in a sense that I didn't have to pay for gas and the pace of life slowed down a little bit. To sum up the summer, I'll just say I had a good time, worked with some worthless employees who worked themselves out of a job, and made a few new friends.
"Those Cheap Ass Motherfuckers..." - Dan Diegel.
Oh, the laugh we had that night will never be forgotten. As we were all in our seperate little sections we decided to quote our bellcaption for a bit, oh the humor.
I'm sitting here, having went through 2 rolls of toilet paper in less than 24 hrs because I have had to blow my nose so much. Allergies or something. No matter what is causing this, it is one helluva way to start out the new school year. Oh yeah, I'm back in school now. Nice to see some familiar faces in my classes, actually I think there are only 3 new faces in any of my HVAC classes, but I do have a math class that is full of dudes and is 2 times a week from 6 til 8 at night. 19 Credit hours isn't the best idea, but neither is going to school for 5 years, so I'm trying to avoid the second option. Along with a new year comes a new house and 2 new roommates. Color and Jason being the 2 new poor souls who have to deal with me. Good guys though, should prove to be a great improvement over the one guy who ruined roughly 9 months of my life last year.
Oh I'm sure after this upcoming weekend I'll have a few things to type about, since I am going to Ohio tomorrow night and coming back on Monday. Good idea when gas is over $3 a gallon.
It's late and this sick cowboy needs his sleep. But first, A few recommendations...
Song: Hurt - Thousand Foot Krutch
Movie: Stripes - "Perhaps you'd like to eat your luggage..."
Food: Hot Dogs
Medication: Tylenol Severe Allergy
"Is it better to burn out than to fade away?" - Jack Black
- Spike
"Those Cheap Ass Motherfuckers..." - Dan Diegel.
Oh, the laugh we had that night will never be forgotten. As we were all in our seperate little sections we decided to quote our bellcaption for a bit, oh the humor.
I'm sitting here, having went through 2 rolls of toilet paper in less than 24 hrs because I have had to blow my nose so much. Allergies or something. No matter what is causing this, it is one helluva way to start out the new school year. Oh yeah, I'm back in school now. Nice to see some familiar faces in my classes, actually I think there are only 3 new faces in any of my HVAC classes, but I do have a math class that is full of dudes and is 2 times a week from 6 til 8 at night. 19 Credit hours isn't the best idea, but neither is going to school for 5 years, so I'm trying to avoid the second option. Along with a new year comes a new house and 2 new roommates. Color and Jason being the 2 new poor souls who have to deal with me. Good guys though, should prove to be a great improvement over the one guy who ruined roughly 9 months of my life last year.
Oh I'm sure after this upcoming weekend I'll have a few things to type about, since I am going to Ohio tomorrow night and coming back on Monday. Good idea when gas is over $3 a gallon.
It's late and this sick cowboy needs his sleep. But first, A few recommendations...
Song: Hurt - Thousand Foot Krutch
Movie: Stripes - "Perhaps you'd like to eat your luggage..."
Food: Hot Dogs
Medication: Tylenol Severe Allergy
"Is it better to burn out than to fade away?" - Jack Black
- Spike
That's Either An Airplane Or A Streetsweeper
For starters, one of my new roommates asked me a question yesterday...
C-bag: "Hey, did you wake up last night?"
Wizzerm: "Because you were having sex and thought your collective love noises would've kept me up?"
C-bag: "No, of course not."
Wizzerm: "Right, right..."
C-bag: "Fucked her!"
I have no tolerance for our neighbors. They seem like decent people and all, except for every two hours that they have to go out and have a cigarette. Alright, I’ll never know what it’s like to have a nic fit, but I highly doubt it’s so overpowering that you can’t smoke near your own damn house. So, sure enough, wafting up from the driveway, I too get to enjoy the fun. Instantly, I’m just another burned out thirty-something like them! I never stop with people older than me, do I? Next thing you know, I’ll go into some rant about why in the hell they accept senior citizens into the college of pharmacy…
A topic that’s been on the morning “news” shows a lot lately is that of players. Or playas. Whichever. I’m going to forgo the fact there is probably something more newsworthy, be it a cat fashion show or some granny with a great brownie recipe. My beef with it all centers around the approach of the shows. If you can’t tell who is talking to you and buying you drinks to get you to have sex, you probably deserve to be taken advantage of because you put yourself in that situation. More importantly, if you’re taking relationship advice from the Today Show, you might want to donate your vital organs. MSN had some article about “female players” even. Here’s a hint: there are none. They are called sluts. Hey, I got a book coming out!
Here’s something I learned in school: there are pharmacists willing to lose their jobs over the Plan B and RU-486 pills. I’m somewhat split on the whole abortion deal. I don’t like it (who does) and I feel far too often it is used as a copout for irresponsibility. Is it that hard to take a pill BEFORE you have sex? Regardless, it’s beyond me why a druggist would have such a strong aversion to providing a drug. That’s all it is really. A drug. Addicts are supplied with clean needles and narcotics, what’s different? Granted, you’re being the worst kind of person (an enabler), but it’s not like it’s on your head.
In the meantime, I’m taking suggestions on what to name the Schwinn Cruiser 5. The Hot Wad perhaps? Maybe too obvious...
- Wyrm
C-bag: "Hey, did you wake up last night?"
Wizzerm: "Because you were having sex and thought your collective love noises would've kept me up?"
C-bag: "No, of course not."
Wizzerm: "Right, right..."
C-bag: "Fucked her!"
I have no tolerance for our neighbors. They seem like decent people and all, except for every two hours that they have to go out and have a cigarette. Alright, I’ll never know what it’s like to have a nic fit, but I highly doubt it’s so overpowering that you can’t smoke near your own damn house. So, sure enough, wafting up from the driveway, I too get to enjoy the fun. Instantly, I’m just another burned out thirty-something like them! I never stop with people older than me, do I? Next thing you know, I’ll go into some rant about why in the hell they accept senior citizens into the college of pharmacy…
A topic that’s been on the morning “news” shows a lot lately is that of players. Or playas. Whichever. I’m going to forgo the fact there is probably something more newsworthy, be it a cat fashion show or some granny with a great brownie recipe. My beef with it all centers around the approach of the shows. If you can’t tell who is talking to you and buying you drinks to get you to have sex, you probably deserve to be taken advantage of because you put yourself in that situation. More importantly, if you’re taking relationship advice from the Today Show, you might want to donate your vital organs. MSN had some article about “female players” even. Here’s a hint: there are none. They are called sluts. Hey, I got a book coming out!
Here’s something I learned in school: there are pharmacists willing to lose their jobs over the Plan B and RU-486 pills. I’m somewhat split on the whole abortion deal. I don’t like it (who does) and I feel far too often it is used as a copout for irresponsibility. Is it that hard to take a pill BEFORE you have sex? Regardless, it’s beyond me why a druggist would have such a strong aversion to providing a drug. That’s all it is really. A drug. Addicts are supplied with clean needles and narcotics, what’s different? Granted, you’re being the worst kind of person (an enabler), but it’s not like it’s on your head.
Post-coital lady: "I'll have the Plan B please...I hope that isn't a problem."Apparently some girls have migrated from Ohio up here. For the first time in litrelly four years, we finally have good looking ladies on campus.
Smooth pimp pharmacist: "Why no ma'am, I'm not the one who'll be going to Hell."
You’re damn right you do. And we got Quizno’s on campus. Oh yea, babe. At least fast food can’t go into hibernation like the girls shirley will in a few short weeks.
You gotta treat her like a lady!
In the meantime, I’m taking suggestions on what to name the Schwinn Cruiser 5. The Hot Wad perhaps? Maybe too obvious...
- Wyrm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
